Coming to terms

This last month has been quite the rollercoaster. My life has changed a lot, but now that things have calmed down, I can see it was all for the best. It has caused me to reevaluate a lot of things, and to appreciate the small things in life.

Random 5k after no running for 4 months -- I survived!

I’ve been living alone for a month; it’s different but I enjoy my privacy and all the things that come with living alone. It is more work, and more money [stupid bills]. I am supposed to be getting a roommate soon {but I am certainly not in any rush}.

I tried to get a 6-week personal leave from work so that I could go to Spring 2012 Bikram Yoga Teacher Training. My request was denied, quite unfairly too. The person who made the decision does not work directly with my department; she doesn’t know how our center {preschool} works. My amazing supervisor tried to sway her with a very lovely email showing her support, however, her email was never even responded to. It’s really too bad, and it makes me resentful. If I could miss those 6 weeks, I would come back much happier, educated, confident and fulfilled. But now, it’s like I have to choose one or the other, which doesn’t help me or my performance. For now, I have to accept that I will be working until Summertime when I get my 9 weeks off. Why can’t Bikram Teacher Training take place during my 9 weeks off? That would be AMAZING.

I’m bummed, and the day I found out I was holding back tears the entire day at work. I have such great support, but I cannot quit my job and lose the money and benefits. I work in early childhood education, and my job is at the best center in the area; we do not make enough money, but I do have great benefits that I can’t lose. My parents are also supportive, but are not going to allow me to live in my lovely house while quitting my job. I shouldn’t be asking them to pay for everything at 25 years old anyway; I just wish there was another way…

A month ago I lost a huge part of myself, a relationship. But for now, things are going well. He is doing amazing and finding himself again. He has even begun taking Bikram completely on his own (it only took a year of my constant nagging). We are taking things slow; one day at a time. So far, it feels good, and I’m happy, which is all that I can really ask for.

Delicious vegan lunch

Today was my 244^th Bikram class. Next Saturday, March 17^th AKA Saint Patrick’s Day marks my 1 year Birkam-anniversary. I wanted to try for 250 classes by then, but I think I’m going to end up short with 247 which is a-ok. So much has changed this last year.

Bikram yoga saved my life.

Honestly, and I hope that one day I will attend training, and that I can then better share the beauty of this yoga practice. It has opened my mind, and created a sense of calm inside of myself that I have never felt before. I am less anxious, and even though I still get angry and worried, I am better able to deal with life in general.

It’s amazing really.

Namaste.